


Deprivation

by ms_nimue



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_nimue/pseuds/ms_nimue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What should have happened when Tony followed Gibbs into the bathroom in 4.14: blow back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deprivation

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to gibbsgirlabby for being my best and first ever beta!

Tony glanced sideways at Gibbs trying to gauge his mood, to gauge just how angry he really was at Tony. He hadn't been able to push aside the sick feeling that rose in his gut when Jenny hadn't answered his question about Gibbs' forgiveness, so he'd followed him into the Men's room without a plan. Now here they were standing next to each other at the urinals, Tony pointedly not watching Gibbs pretend he wasn't bothered which was only making Tony feel more guilty.  
Gibbs left first the treacherous voice in his head chimed in, he sneered inwardly telling his subconscious to shut up. He knew Gibbs hadn't left the team because of him or any of them. He was fed up, reliving the pain in his past. Tony was well aware that Gibbs hadn't given him a second thought.  
Tony had given Gibbs a lot of thought though. When he'd accepted the job at NCIS he had found the man hot, but rule twelve had stopped Tony from making any overt passes at him. However, you could only face so much danger, have so many near and actual death experiences before you... suffice it to say when Jenny had offered the undercover assignment Tony had given Gibbs a lot of thought. He had thought how Gibbs would never look at him the way he had looked at Jenny or at the mystery red head in the convertible, how Gibbs had handed off the role of boss so causally, how Gibbs knew Tony accepted and kept every one of Gibbs ' awards in his desk but he never asked the question Tony had been dying to hear. Most of all he thought that if Gibbs came back he wouldn't find Tony waiting for him. Tony was tired of being alone.  
“You following me?” the smile in Gibbs' voice was hard. Tony swallowed nervously, “No, why would I do that?” yeah DiNozzo that's smooth, his subconscious mocked. Gibbs shook his head “Just asking myself the same question.” Tony could feel Gibbs eyes on him and cursed himself, say something you idiot, but his mind was blank. He started to whistle nervously, stupid stupid, why didn't you think of something first, no you just have to go after him with no plan, no one on your six...  
He knew Gibbs could feel his tension. “Want me to run some water?” It occurred to Tony that Gibbs and his inner voice would get along great; they both seemed to enjoy ridiculing him.  
He decided to take the plunge, “No, I'm alright, I just...” he trailed off.  
“Just say it DiNozzo.” Gibbs snorted with disgust, walking over to wash his hands.  
“I’m sorry, Boss. I uh… I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time, but the situation is…”  
“Complicated?” Gibbs asked.  
“Exactly. Director’s got this really strict rule about …”  
“Secrets.” Gibbs' voice finished his sentence flatly, and Tony couldn't help a long look, feeling out of his depth caught up in issues he didn't understand between Gibbs and the Director. But he forged on, “Yeah. The point is, I owe you everything. You taught me how to do this job. I never wanted to lie to you.” He willed Gibbs to find the sincerity in his words.  
“Hell, DiNozzo, you were following orders. I would have done the same thing.” Gibbs spoke the words as if by rote, and Tony knew that he hadn't been forgiven. “Would you?” he challenged. But Gibbs wasn't taking the bait. “Yeah.” he insisted.  
Tony didn't know what to say. He was searching for something, anything to say that wasn't 'God, touch me please. I want you even more when you're angry.'  
“So you would have lied to Mike Franks?” even before the words were out of his mouth he knew it was the WRONG thing to say. Gibbs locked the door and turned his head to look straight at him. Tony could feel the anger and betrayal coming from the man like a caress. When he met Gibbs' eyes there was something else he couldn't place and Gibbs strode across the room toward him, backing Tony up against the wall.  
“You're not me Tony,” Gibbs snarled, and Tony could feel his breath against his lips.  
“And I'm not Franks. Otherwise this would be a very different conversation we'd be having right now.” Gibbs leaned forward, past Tony's face so his lips were next to Tony's ear, their chests almost touching.  
“If I was Franks I probably would have shot you by now. Be smart DiNozzo, take the out.”  
Tony closed his eyes and breathed in sharply through his nose, trying and failing to suppress the shudder that went through his body at their close proximity. Gibbs pulled back a fraction, one hand braced against the wall over Tony's right shoulder. His eyes moved over Tony's face, and Tony could feel the flush creeping over him from forehead past his shirt collar. He knew Gibbs would notice, of course he would. He closed his eyes against the revulsion he was sure to see reflected at him on Gibbs face. But Gibbs didn't move away, the expected punch Tony had braced himself for was never delivered.  
There was a long pause, “Maybe getting off the hook isn't what you're looking for.” Tony's eyes shut tighter at the dark, seductive tone in his boss' voice, barely daring to hope at the promise he heard in his words. But his eyes flew open when he felt the press of Gibbs' thigh between his own, hard against the underside of his rapidly filling cock. Gibbs' eyes were shuttered, his pupils dilated, and Tony choked on the moan which escaped from his throat.  
Gibbs slid one hand down to grip the back of Tony's neck hard, his other forearm propping him up against the wall, trapping Tony against him. Tony slid further down increasing the pressure of Gibbs' thigh between his own, rolling his hips slightly until he could feel the hard line of Gibbs' erection against his hip. Gibbs growled in response, gripping Tony's biceps and pushing hard, slamming Tony against the door.  
“That's not what this is about DiNozzo. Not this time.” He ground up against Tony, forcing another hoarse moan from him. “This time its about who's the boss.”  
Tony didn't even have to think, “You.” he gasped. “God boss, please, its always you.” but it was no use, Gibbs stopped moving. He stopped the pressure on Tony's cock. He was still maddeningly close, and instead of more violence he began to stroke gentle fingers down Tony's sides, trialing over his chest, a pinky casually dragged over his nipple.  
Gibbs' voice when he spoke was calm, almost reasonable, “You don't ever lie to me again, you don't take a case without my say so, and most important, this is your rule number one Tony, don't ever take another boss' lead before mine.”  
The soft hands and voice were even worse than the yelling. The stress of the last few months, the aching want that had been building for what seemed like years, all came together making his body rigid with his warring needs to surrender to Gibbs' dominance and his need to make Gibbs fuck him through the bathroom wall now. He struggled against the thoughts tumbling through his head, Gibbs left first, you don't owe him this, what about Jeanne? But he couldn't make himself care, not about his job, or his dignity, not even about her.  
He sighed against Gibbs' cheek, “Got it boss.” he whispered. Gibbs pulled him into a quick, painful kiss, biting his way into Tony's mouth, licking his palette and gripping Tony's hair almost too hard. Tony kissed him back with equal desperation, trying to bring Gibbs closer to him.  
Gibbs twisted away enough for Tony to see the feral grin that flashed across his face before Gibbs pulled away from his body entirely. Tony whimpered at the loss of contact. “Boss?” he looked into Gibbs face. He was confused, and hard, and wanting something, anything; Gibbs hand, or mouth, or cock. Something to make this unbearable, strung out, tightness finally ease.  
Gibbs trailed his hand gently down the hard line of Tony through his pants. “This isn't the time or the place, Tony. Your assignment.. I don't share DiNozzo. You can come find me when your done playing agency stud for the Director.” And Gibbs turned heel and left Tony semi-collapsed against the bathroom wall feeling thoroughly fucked, and not in the good way. Tony snorted in disgust, and told his subconscious to just shut the fuck up. He breathed deeply through his nose, trying to tame the manic vibration under his skin and calm his rapid heart beat.  
Slowly he made his way over to the mirrors on the far wall and stared hard at his reflection; his blown pupils, flushed face, bitten lips. He ran the cold tap and splashed cool water on his face. Gibbs was right of course. Well, not entirely, the man's timing couldn't have been worse and really he had left. Tony shook his head as though to dislodge the thought. It wasn't any use dwelling on it.  
Now Tony was faced with a dilemma. There was no solution, no decision to be made. He would have to see it through, the op, his relationship with Jeanne. The hell of it was that he did love her, sometimes. After years of one night stands and pining for a man so emotionally stunted stoic didn't even begin to cover him; it had been nice to have someone look at him like she did. Like he was good and surprising, not just occasionally, but all the time.  
With Gibbs just a memory safely tucked away in Mexico it had been so easy to settle for her gentleness, her peaceful acceptance. He had allowed himself to forget the usually ever-present knowledge that the man she saw wasn't him. He'd almost been convinced that maybe it could be. But five minutes of Gibbs' random intensity shattered it all. That he had thought he didn't need that, didn't need him, was proof of his ability to compartmentalize.  
“Fuck!” his voice was loud in the empty bathroom. Fine he thought, maybe he was fucked but so help him if he was going to suffer alone. So what if Gibbs had his all knowing impassivity, and intense blue eyes, or a sexy sarcastic smile? Tony had finesse, he could make bedroom eyes to die for, and if he wanted, an even sexier sarcastic smile. He inspected himself once more in the mirror, then satisfied with his outward appearance of calm, breathed deeply and straightened his clothes.  
Then he was walking back out into the bull pen, his own grin intact. As he caught sight of a relaxed Gibbs leaning over McGee's shoulder, Tony began to hum. Before this case was finally closed Gibbs was going to find himself in a world of hurt. Tony may have to accept the status quo for now and he would, however grudgingly. But so help him he was going to make Gibbs learn the meaning of the word deprivation.


End file.
